Warning: This post is raw and real. No bull.
There is a movie I love that leaves me on the edge of my seat every time I watch it. It’s called Slumdog Millionaire and I first watched it when I returned from a [and I am not exaturating here] intensely life changing trip to India. The movie is about a man in love with a woman and she is always out of his reach. The two of them saw each other a few times in their lives and every time the man [Jamal] would see her [Latika] he thought he had finally found her and would be with her forever.
However every time Jamel thought “This is it, I am finally here. Right where I am supposed to be!” someone or something would pull Latika away and he would begin his search again. This happened so many times to them in the movie that you eventually ask the question “When is it going to suck again?”
I found myself asking this in my own life lately. It feels like I am so happy I am just waiting for it to suck. I just got married 2 and a half months ago and I am SO happy I waiting for it to suck. I know that sounds crazy, but I have had so many things happen in my past that identify with this situation. I’m happy then BOOM. I lose a job, a friend, something. I am not saying I will lose my marriage because I would fight like a mama bear if we were ever in jeopardy but do all marriages eventually begin to suck?
I also started a new job at Famous Daves Calhoun Square. It is a dream job. Live music every night, fun people, and so much more. I LOVE being a server there and recently got promoted [to my absolute shock, only after 2 months] to bar server. At most restaurants, being a bar server means you are a wonderful server. When my manager asked me to “move up” I was SO happy. I love the restaurant industry and one day hope to be a manager. This was the next step for me and I was so happy… but when will the managers will realise that I am not that great? When will I mess up? When will it start to suck?
You may be thinking “Are you kidding me?” but no, I sadly am not. The reason I am writing this post is to make myself wake up and realise that if it is going to eventually suck, at least I enjoyed the ride.
I was praying about this “When is it going to suck” question today and I realised that if I ask myself this question about everything then I don’t have alot of faith. It says in Hebrews 11:1 that “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.” Faith is what sets me apart from what could be a suckfest. I need to have faith in myself. That is the way that I don’t have to keep asking “When is it going to suck?” because I’m tired of waiting for it to suck. And like I said before, if it does eventually suck, atleast I enjoyed the ride.:)
Tags: Faith, Wife